Those Three Days

Those three days were the toughest three days of Ray's life. Laurie had gone out of town to meet her folks and Ray had made things awkward before she left. He had always been a bit of a mess around her, maybe because he liked her so much and her hot/cold reaction towards him made him insecure about the whole thing. They'd been seeing each other for a few months but Laurie still wasn't very sure about Ray. Ray did understand Laurie's apprehensions and he was adamant about making those apprehension's go away. He wasn't a quitter. But he wasn't very cool either.

Laurie and Ray weren't similar people but they'd clicked well ever since that first date. Laurie was this carefree, whirlwind of a person, who'd had a tough childhood, was unapologetic and spoke her mind. Whereas Ray was a tame teetotaler trying to be tantalizing and of course failing at it. Their first date was stuff of the legends, smooth, effortless and just right. Even though it had started with a few disappointments, they'd made it work with that long walk during sunset, followed by a great conversation at the cafe. So much so that they'd agreed to meet the very next day for a second date.

That night, Ray was on cloud nine. He hadn't had such a fulfilling date in quite a while and it filled him with joy and excitement. He'd even written a sonnet about it, in his head. That's where the problem started. Ray got in his own head about the next day. His innate lack of self esteem mixed with his need to make that second date go well led to him trying too hard. Everyone knows things don't go well when you try too hard. Laurie excused herself early that day and Ray was left wondering what went wrong. 

Nearly a month passed before Ray heard back from Laurie. He'd almost given hope, but just like that they were meeting again and it felt as if they knew each other for ages. They went for breakfast, skipped lunch together and hung out at the park. Given his goof up the last time, Ray was way more laid back this time round. He just wanted to enjoy that date. They laughed and they played and just like that, they met again the very next day. This time, they explored the rich monuments and heritage of old Hyderabad. He'd try clicking pictures of her and she'd shy away. And he ended up with like a zillion photos of Charminar on his phone.

They met again that week and caught a movie together. It was an action movie in one of those 4Dx theaters and was a lot of fun. Ray loved how jolly and joyful Laurie was. She was everything he wasn't, even though they'd both seen their shares of shitty experiences in their young lives. By this time, Ray was head over heels for Laurie. She could ask him to give her his heart and he'd have happily cut it out of his chest. But he knew he had to play it cool. And he did. For a few days.

The next time Laurie grew distant, it didn't sit well with Ray. He got anxious and concerned. He asked himself what was going on? You see Ray was an old man in a young man's body. He didn't understand this millennial dating ritual where people saw each other, clicked and went about their lives without feeling the need to spend every living moment of their day with the person they liked. He mustered enough courage to just ask her what was wrong, a week or so later. She eased his concerns right away and told him she really liked him too.

And then she vanished again for a little while. Ray didn't know what to make of it. So he just decided to be patient and play it cool. That weekend he just dropped her a message telling her that he'd be in her neighborhood and would love to meet if she was in for it. And she agreed right away. They met for dinner, did some shopping together and he dropped her home. While they said good night, Ray kinda hoped Laurie would invite him in. He wasn't looking to score or anything like that, he just wanted an expression of trust from her. They'd been hanging out for a while and she was still keeping Ray at an arm's length away. Ray returned home that evening with a heavy heart.

But the very next day, Laurie agreed to meet him again and he forgot about the earlier disappointment. Ray was good at bouncing back after being knocked down. And Laurie was worth the wait. As he waited for her in front of her office complex, Ray couldn't help but notice his heart flutter. And then she appeared. She looked weary and tired and Ray found it endearingly beautiful. Even though Ray felt like Laurie was still not completely invested in their relationship, he couldn't help feeling helplessly smitten. There was something about that elfish smile of hers that made the day just a little bit brighter for Ray. 

As luck would have it, they ran into a bunch of Laurie's closest friends that evening. Laurie got visibly awkward. Even though she'd once told him that she'd love to introduce him to her friends, Laurie wasn't sure enough of Ray yet. But thankfully, her friends didn't ask too many questions and Ray seemed to get along well with her crazy gang. They went out drinking, did some karaoke and had a great time. When they left the club, Laurie asked Ray to call a cab for himself as her gang was going to drop her home. And just like that, Ray's abandonment issue reared its ugly head. But her friends invited him to ride with them. Ray kept staring at her face all along the ride to her place. The city lights reflecting over her dusky skin felt heavenly and filled his heart with hope. 

When they reached her place, Laurie's gang decided to go up to her place for a nightcap. Once again, Laurie asked Ray to call a cab. That's when he realized she really didn't want to show him her place. But her friends asked him to come and she obliged by calling him up. A little heartbroken but still strong, Ray finally got to see Laurie's cute little apartment. While leaving, he turned around to look into her eyes one last time before they parted ways for the night. Her eyes were eerily quizzical. He wondered if he should kiss her good night, but he was already down a flight of stairs and it seemed like a stretch. So he left with that sinking feeling of disappointment which was now becoming a bit of a norm for Ray.

But he wasn't down yet. Ray still had a lot of fight left in him. And a ferocious yearning to make Laurie his. He texted her later that evening determined to make her realize how much she meant to him, to make her realize she could rely on him. But when have midnight texts been known to lead to mature decisions? Very soon, Ray found himself expressing a little more than he'd planned to. And Laurie was cold as ever, conspicuously so. After a point, her texts stopped and he couldn't sleep.

A couple of hours after midnight, he received a text from her saying she wasn't feeling too well. He didn't know what to say and offered to come down and help her. But she wouldn't have it. He very clearly expressed that he would like to meet her the next day and help her pack for her trip that weekend, but she asked him not to. Suddenly, he started feeling extremely sorry for himself. Here he was, baring his heart to this woman, and she didn't appreciate it enough to even let him be with her once, on his own terms. 

Something snapped and Ray just started ranting on text. A little advice to all you millennials, DON'T rant on text. The tone is often lost and you risk sounding douchey instead of earnest. It clearly irked Laurie and she kinda big him goodnight. But the goodnight strangely sounded more like a goodbye. And the tone was harsh. For a hot minute there, Ray mulled over what his next step should be. Then he decided to be brave for once and put his affection to test. 

Ray texted Laurie: "I am sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to. I won't bother you now. Have a great day ahead and a safe trip. When you're back and if you feel like it, reach out to me."

That was three days ago. Laurie had still not called him back. But the great thing was, Ray hadn't called her either. For once, Ray had decided that he'd step back and let her decide if she really wanted him or not. If she thought he was worth calling back, he'd give her his 100%, but if not, he'd lick his wounds and move on. For once, Ray had found his self worth and yet, these three days had felt like hell. He'd checked his phone a million times, but no texts or calls from Laurie. And so, he let go and grew up just a little more. The uncertainty, while it killed him little by little, also helped him gain his lost confidence. On the fourth day, when there was still no text from Laurie, Ray smiled a little to himself, tossed his phone away and grabbed a bowl of kiwi fruit.