Mia's Matrimonial Misery!!!

Mia's parents have been looking for a groom for her. And they haven't found one in a few years. She is turning 31 shortly and her patience is wearing thin now. Mia didn't really oppose her parents when they brought up the topic of arranged marriage a few years earlier because she didn't have anyone in her life at that point. And thus started her matrimonial adventures. Mia was a plump, jolly and enthusiastic woman who had an undying zeal for life. She was educated and had a decent job, paid her bills on time and didn't owe anyone a cent. And yet, the last rejection (like many others before it) made her feel small.

This guy, after having whispered sweet nothings into her ears for five months straight, rejected her after meeting her because "his parents wanted a slimmer wife for him". What added insult to injury was the fact that this time, even her father suggested that she "should work out and try losing some weight". Almost all rejections before this happened for such superfluous and shallow reasons and Mia was fed up of it. She couldn't understand people's obsession with something as temporary as looks that they'd overlook a whole living person, with character and promise, for it. A few extra pounds of flesh deemed her unfit for marriage. And even her own father thought the guys rejecting her were justified!

Mia's parents maintain her matrimonial profile on Shaadi.com where they've mentioned her educational qualification, her profession, her income bracket, etc. But none of those details make much of a difference to them, do they? They still believe Mia needs a guy to "complete her", to "be settled". And sadly, even she'd started believing the same. That's why she'd let so many guys and their families humiliate them like that. Guys on Shaadi.com have the same status as girls on Tinder. "Extremely sought after. Hence snooty and aloof." So, they stare down at the prospective brides from a position of power, judging them on whatever shallow criteria they like, height, weight, skin color, complexion, etc. 

When Mia confided in a friend about her state of mind, he gave her a book on anthropology to read. The book focused on cultural changes over the past century and the social conditioning which has lurked in certain orthodox practices. Reading it, Mia thought about things, things she wanted to tell her father, things she wished her parents understood.

The whole concept on a woman needing a man or matrimony stemmed in a time when women weren't allowed to study or hold jobs, when men were the so-called breadwinners. At that time, women needed to marry men who could provide for them. Hence, men were considered a prize, a necessity for women. Wedlock was hence, held in high regard.

But now, when women study, hold jobs and earn, people still associate marriage with settling down for women. Even with the changed circumstances, the premise is still believed and revered. Thats social conditioning. 

As if Mia couldn't live her life without a husband! She earned enough to go on living comfortably and didn't need a husband. At least not a husband who cared more about how she looked than what kind of a person she was. She also tried finding diets/exercise routines to lose weight, but realized that she hated the whole process. She realized that she loved how she looked and it defined her. And she knew there were guys out there who'd love her for how she looked as well as for who she was. And she wanted to be with someone like that.

Mia realized that she didn't want to put herself through even one more day of the humiliating experience of being paraded in front of men and their families as if she was a product they were bidding on. She was a person, an adult, an independent one at that. Suddenly, all the factors that made marriage seem like a necessity, like pressure from relatives, the thought of people talking, etc seemed like they didn't matter. Mia decided on that day that she wasn't going for an arranged marriage.

And because she was an independent adult, her folks decided to let Mia have her dignity.

Seven years down the line, Mia did tie the knot, on her own terms, the way it is meant to be. She  fell in love with a guy who was attracted by her wit, her charm, her silliness and also her body. She married him only because he loved her, the way it's meant to be. His family didn't vote on her looks or her weight, they just blessed the couple. She didn't have any regrets. In fact, they decided to adopt a baby girl instead of bringing new life and they felt happy that they strayed from another ridiculous social tradition.