A New Year...Away from Family & Friends!!!

I wish all my readers a very happy new year. That said, I'd like to inform you that I will be travelling  for work  starting this evening, for the next 9 days after having barely spent 21 hours with my family, out of which I spent around  6 hours sleeping and another 7 over the phone with my colleagues trying to get things done. I apologize in advance coz this post isn't gonna have a very happy tone. 

Lately, I've been asking myself a lot of existential questions. Let me start from the beginning. I moved to a new city, was placed in a new territory. Understandably, the work load went up. And that was fine. Until a few days back, when I faced the business end of a strange kind of corporate pressure.

And it got me thinking. What does it all mean? What does it all lead to? I am aware that I am not the first one with these questions. And I won't be the last one. But its my life and I feel that, even if my problems seem silly to my superiors and the people I work with, I have all the right in the world to feel concerned. Especially when for days on end, I seem to go about my work, oblivious to the needs of my family.

Don't get me wrong, guys. I am not complaining about long hours, even though that's something I ought to do. I am talking about the emotional stress that a front line sales job in a private firm puts on you. Targets, targets and targets.

We keep wondering how these targets always tend to be alarmingly more than whats achievable. And I am talking about sales here. (I know there will be Regional Managers & National Managers who'll beg to differ, but hey its my opinion and its based on what I see.) And please don't make the mistake of assuming that I am lazy. I am really not. I am very dedicated. Maybe more than I should be, coz my work life seems to always eclipse the rest of my world.

And that can't be healthy.

The fact that I am expressing my frustration regarding this here means that I have actually exhausted all my sources where I talk, discuss and try to come to a solution. My life is constantly run by my superiors, my phone and my laptop these days. And its taking a toll on my personal life.

My work hours have never been pretty or easy but lately, I have been engrossed in my work even when I am home from work. I keep worrying about the targets I need to meet, without the right product supply available to me. I keep obsessing over the taunts and warnings that my superiors put forth. I live in a constant state of terror and worry.

Its moments like these when you start questioning the meaning of things. I have to work for a livelihood. But what worth is such work if I stop having a life due to it? I work to provide for my family but is it worth it if I never see their faces on account of my work?

And the worst aspect is the lack of other options. Getting another job is easy but thanks to the work culture in my country, all private jobs will have the same situation more or less. Sometimes I feel like taking a sabbatical and doing some soul searching, probably studying for civil services in attempt of getting a cozy government job.

But isn't it pathetic that a majority of professionals in this country have to face such emotional torture just to earn, nay barely earn a living? We can, but speculate on this matter, shaking our heads in despair or impatience depending on where we are standing.

Wishing you a happy year ahead. May your days be better than mine are gearing up to be!!!