Instigators of Insecurity!!!
For instance, an ex-girlfriend of mine faced a lot of ridicule at the hands of her classmates in school for being too "thin". This made her insecure about her build and that insecurity stayed with her till she met me. I pointed out to her the fact that all supermodels are slim and people all around are body-shamed for being plump. I have been called names like "Yeti" and "Daanav" for being tall and heavy. But this article is not just about body shaming and its effects. It is about the effect that insecurities arising from such incidents have on people's self-esteem.
People worry a lot about how others perceive them. But I can't really say it is wrong because it is but natural. What's not natural is the way people perceive others. For example, the people who used to make fun of me for being chubby, do you think all of them were perfect in all respects? No. They weren't. And that is the whole point of it.
People rarely give it a thought while making fun of someone. Not all of us react to ridicule in the same way. Some time back, I wrote about this roommate I had in college who is still disturbed and trying to cope with the bullying he faced at the hands of our peers. Imagine that! A guy has been scarred for life because he was made fun of. Even though others might have reacted differently to the same situations, it still doesn't change the fact that such incidents leave a long-lasting effect.
We Indians aren't a very sensitive people as a whole. And the insensitivity stems from our ignorance. For example, when I was first employed in 2011, one of my relatives bluntly asked me how much I was earning. And they had even gone on to point out how the number I mentioned was way lesser than someone else. People are usually so narrow-minded that they don't feel awkward asking a guy about his pay, and don't even care how insecure they might make someone feel by unnecessary comparisons. Today, around five years later, I am earning four times what I was earning back then but I still feel insecure about my career when people start comparing salaries like that.
The worst thing about insecurities is how they can cripple your self-esteem for a substantial part of your life. I have seen it change people, and make them less confident permanently. And that's the worst thing to happen to anyone. Going back to the topic of how we all care a lot about how people see us, I have an interesting topic to discuss, that's related to this one. People in India are always too concerned with other people's personal affairs. I come from a broken family and believe me, everyone in my small city knows about it, simply because they've poked their noses in our family matters without any invitations.
I never let it get to me. But some of my friends with similar family issues have suffered so much at the hands of interfering neighbors and relatives. And it affects women the most. Because people give an awful lot of shit about what they hear about women in their neighborhoods. Women are actually judged by their family histories, which most of the time doesn't have any bearing on the kind of person they might be. For example, we hear so many tales of women having trouble getting married because someone in their family had a broken marriage. That's an incredibly stupid reason to consider while deciding to marry a girl, isn't it?
But that's how people are. That's why we must cultivate some sense of civility and stop body shaming, taunting people about complexion, etc, or commenting on people's family backgrounds. I urge everyone literate enough to get what I am writing about, to be sensitive enough to at least attempt not to make people more insecure than they already are. That is how we can contribute to making the world a happier place.
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We Indians aren't a very sensitive people as a whole. And the insensitivity stems from our ignorance. For example, when I was first employed in 2011, one of my relatives bluntly asked me how much I was earning. And they had even gone on to point out how the number I mentioned was way lesser than someone else. People are usually so narrow-minded that they don't feel awkward asking a guy about his pay, and don't even care how insecure they might make someone feel by unnecessary comparisons. Today, around five years later, I am earning four times what I was earning back then but I still feel insecure about my career when people start comparing salaries like that.
The worst thing about insecurities is how they can cripple your self-esteem for a substantial part of your life. I have seen it change people, and make them less confident permanently. And that's the worst thing to happen to anyone. Going back to the topic of how we all care a lot about how people see us, I have an interesting topic to discuss, that's related to this one. People in India are always too concerned with other people's personal affairs. I come from a broken family and believe me, everyone in my small city knows about it, simply because they've poked their noses in our family matters without any invitations.
I never let it get to me. But some of my friends with similar family issues have suffered so much at the hands of interfering neighbors and relatives. And it affects women the most. Because people give an awful lot of shit about what they hear about women in their neighborhoods. Women are actually judged by their family histories, which most of the time doesn't have any bearing on the kind of person they might be. For example, we hear so many tales of women having trouble getting married because someone in their family had a broken marriage. That's an incredibly stupid reason to consider while deciding to marry a girl, isn't it?
But that's how people are. That's why we must cultivate some sense of civility and stop body shaming, taunting people about complexion, etc, or commenting on people's family backgrounds. I urge everyone literate enough to get what I am writing about, to be sensitive enough to at least attempt not to make people more insecure than they already are. That is how we can contribute to making the world a happier place.
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"I hope I didn't sound too preachy there. That wasn't my intention. It's just common sense."
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