Thankless

Guys, have you ever noticed how a lot of our life revolves around our relationship with women. Whether you're a player or a lost-in-love kinda guy, women seem to take up a lot of your time and energy. So its but natural that so many movies are made on the subject. But movies seldom get it right, do they? Women are either portrayed as saintly or vamp-like in Hindi movies, but in real life, women are just as complicated and diverse as men are. So, in this article, I won't generalize women at all. I'll only talk about a certain kind of women.

It can be argued that all women have, at some point in their lives, been the kind of woman I am gonna talk about. The "thankless" kind. I know the word sounds harsh and judgmental, but it has to be read in context to be understood better. My colleague Rishabh (name changed) talks about his ex-girlfriend, who went to another city to pursue a degree course, made Rishabh pay a part of the tuition fee and then grew distant and eventually dumped him. We were talking about one of my experiences with the fairer sex when he shared this story and mentioned the word "thankless". That got me thinking. 

Well that, and several other things. Like those instagram quotes that ask you to be grateful if a woman is treating you well. I do understand where that comes from, of course. I mean, women do have a lot of choices. So any man getting a woman's attention should feel special. Even if its a lazy text after weeks of silence. What irks me sometimes is the disparity in levels of effort that men and women put in into relationships. I am no stranger to the demand and supply logic, but shouldn't there be some sort of check towards this, maybe something specifically designed to protect the interests of well-meaning mean, at least? Its all wishful thinking, of course. Nothing really changes, ever.

From what Rishabh tells me, dating as a man in today's time is freaking expensive. Both financially and emotionally. He told me of a guy who shells out thousands of rupees on dates and gifts for women he really likes, and still gets ghosted. And these are average women, who seem genuine and interested, but end up disappearing. "Maybe someone else had more to offer", I observe and I realize that I just reinforced Rishabh's point. "Isn't that too transactional?" Rishabh asks, leaving me speechless and pensive.

See, once you realize that even the best of relationships are based on the give and take principle, your innocence is lost. Cynicism kicks in and you'll never look at the world in the same way again. Because if its all business, it should be fair. Whether you're a man or a woman, if you're investing time, energy and/or money on another person, you've all the right to expect it to be worth it. That's where life gets even more complicated. Business, profits and gains can be quantified. How do you quantify love and affection? How do you calculate what you're affection and you're anxiety is worth?

I'm sure the so called "thankless" women are, at least in their own minds, justified in what they did. But how do they quantify an honest man's effort? And on what scale do they compare their actions against it? Well, this argument works for both genders, because we all know assholes exist in both sexes. And since, I am neither a philosopher and nor a great mind, I have only questions and no answers to offer.

I have tried being as politically correct as possible in talking about a topic that's potentially a quicksand. One wrong word and I'll be tagged as a chauvinist. To that argument, I'll just say the following - I recognise that to err is human, and hence I know that women have their own reasons to acting like jerks, just like men have their reasons. Also the word "thankless" indicates that gratitude should be due. And that isn't confined to just women, as I've already mentioned somewhere up there. Anyway, that was my bit for today. Signing off. Ciao.