Making Love at Dawn

Describing the night Shireen & Sashank had as awkward would be the understatement of the century. Their rhythm was definitely off. And it was but natural, since they hadn’t met for a while, after the last time. And the last time was tumultuous, to say the least. They had spent a couple of days in bed and then they’d freaked out in the aftermath. So obviously, when they decided to meet again, it was a little awkward where neither knew how to behave normally. 

They downed a few drinks at the club and took a little walk, talking about this and that. Sashank slyly kept on inserting praises disguised as silly observations. The subtlety wasn’t lost on Shireen. Her situation had changed since the last time she met him and she felt liberated. It wasn’t like she didn’t have any apprehensions about this, but the volume on the apprehensions was turned way down. Plus Sashank had an air of confidence that drove Shireen crazy.

Midnight was approaching quick and Shireen had to do the dance where she’d say goodbye and Sashank would ask to drop her home, and she’d try to talk him out of it, while he’d insist. And just like that, they’d pulled up in front of her apartment building. She asked him if he was going to come up with her. He got a little awkward and nodded. He couldn’t tell if she wanted him to come up or not. This was something that always bothered him about Shireen. Her consent wasn’t always obvious.

Once in her apartment, they quickly changed and got into bed. “Go to sleep”, Shireen said, “I have work tomorrow.” She knew he wasn’t about to let her sleep. If last time taught her anything about Sashank, it was that he knew his way around the bed. And then she felt his hand on her cheek. He was trying to find her lips in the dark. And once he did, he quickly pressed a kiss on her lips. And they he huffed a little and quickly kissed her once again. And once more. Kisses are so underrated. 

In no time, they’d gotten rid of their clothes and were feeling the warmth of each other’s body. She wanted him to be more forward whereas he was asking her for permission in each step. She took his hands and placed it on her soft bosom and asked him, “Do I need to ask you to touch them?” Even in the dark, she could feel the smile growing on his face. Something about the way he touched her, drove her insane. His lips caressing her neck while his hands played havoc on her body, navigating her skin, creating ripples of pleasure all over.

As Sashank’s lips worked their way down to hers, Shireen found herself lost in thought. She constantly battled a sinking feeling of shame when she was with Sashank, maybe because she knew they didn’t have a real future; or maybe because she felt like she was playing him. She would often wonder about how strange it was that Sashank, who was virtually a stranger, managed to treat her so well, something so many guys she cared much more for had failed to do. She wondered if this was the only way to be treated well: keeping the guy at an arm’s length away. Sashank was nibbling away at her inner thigh and the ticklish sensation broke her chain of thought.

Sashank was feeling grateful. He had really lost all hopes of meeting Shireen again after the last time. He had misunderstood her behaviour, misreading her hesitation as avoidance. And he’d stayed away. And now, this. He didn’t know if this would last. He didn’t know how long he had with her, and that showed in the way he kissed her, urgently and crazily. And when they started having sex, the whole build-up of the evening kind of collapsed. Something happened and Shireen just withdrew herself from him, curled up in foetal position and started sobbing. 

A barrage of feelings were racing through her mind, shame, guilt, humiliation. For some reason, having Sashank inside her reminded her of an incident she had been trying to forget. In the dark, she could feel Sashank’s concern in the way he touched her shoulder asking her if she was okay. She didn’t know what to tell him. All she could tell him was that this wasn’t about him. Sashank didn’t believe her. He felt like she was being weighed down by her decision to spend the night with him while she wasn’t actually prepared for it, emotionally.

She ran to the washroom with her clothes and in the several minutes that she spent there, she composed herself. Shireen considered herself broken. Why? That’s a mystery to me. Shireen, even though she’s a figment of my imagination, is a lady of many layers. And like so many women, she’s difficult to understand. When she came out of the washroom, Sashank was pacing in the hall. He offered to leave if “his presence was making her uncomfortable”. She told him to stop being crazy. She settled on the bed and asked him to join her.

He took a while to calm down. And when he did, he started kissing her again. They kissed for nearly an hour, by the end of which, her lips felt bruised. By this time, she had calmed down as well and they quickly fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was a hot night and as dawn came, the rays of sunlight seeping in through the window woke Sashank up. Shireen was facing away from him, her slender form tucked nicely in the curve of his body. He placed his arm around her waist lightly trying to avoid waking her up.

Shireen stirred a little in her sleep and then turned around to face Sashank. With sleepy eyes, she moved forward and kissed his lips, while she pulled him close and hugged him tightly. You know how at certain times, things just fall in place and everything moves smoothly. This was like that. They kissed and kissed and took each other’s clothes off and made love to each other. Tenderly and violently, all at once, breaking apart in each other’s arms as well as putting each other back together. They looked in each other’s eyes as they made love. There was nothing more right than how this felt. Like it was meant to be. The sun was high up in the sky by the time they finished. 

She got up and went to the washroom to freshen up and get ready for the day, while he dozed off in her bed. When he opened his eyes, he found her putting on makeup. He realized she was leaving for work. He quietly put his clothes on and offered to drop her at work on his way home. They didn’t talk much on the way. The morning sun was pleasant and the traffic was scarce. When he dropped her at her office, she gave him a quick peck on his cheek and parted ways. Sashank wondered if he’ll see her again and regretted not asking her the same. As if it’d have made any difference.