A Bowl of Elusive

I am a little surprised at the things that are happening in the country today. Controversies are like a dime a dozen. All of us have established a set of people that we end up blaming for whatever we aren't okay with. And life goes on. In such political instability, I often ask myself questions regarding patriotism. Am I a patriot? I really don't think so. Please hear me out before you chew my head off for this statement. If we agree that Shaheed Bhagat Singh and Netaji were patriots, then we must accept that you and I are not. Our times are different from theirs and so are our motivations. I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is worry about my day. I think about how to get through the various struggles that come up due to my work. I worry about my salary, my bills, due dates, taxes and providing for my household. What I don't worry about is whether Aamir Khan’s statement is justified or not. I don't worry about whether my neighbour is a ...

I met her 14 years ago. I used to be a wide-eyed optimistic pre-teen back then. My grandfather was driving me to her place. I was supposed to borrow notes from her. Being 11, I had never had a girlfriend. So I kind of psyched myself up to believe that "I'll make her my girl". Positive visualization, I guess. And this was even before we actually met. Then we did. She was a girl. Looked a little older for her age, she had curly hair like mine and I'd noticed none of that back then. Because she was a girl and I was too busy trying to turn my "charm" on. God, it's been so long. Now I don't even remember where that "charm" lies. Anyway, my trick must have worked. We clicked. Even before her giggling friends inadvertently let me know that she was into me, we were spending quite a bit of time with each other. I had chalked it up to the fact that we had a lot in common in terms of background and habits. Then I found out that she lik...

Majedar, one of my best friends is not speaking to me right now. Why? Because the last time I was in our hometown, I didn't call him up. Instead, I happened to call another friend, Keshav and inquired about Majedar's whereabouts. When Keshav informed me that Majedar wasn't in town, I saw no point in bothering him, so I didn't call. So, Majedar, the drama queen that he is, took offense and hasn't spoken to me since. "Majedar" is not a name, by the way. It mean "enjoyable" in Hindi. The word resembled his surname, so we ended up calling him that for fun. We all have that one friend who's a little dramatic. For me, that's Majedar. We have been friends since the eighth grade. We were a a lot close-knit group of 3 to 5 friends who spent a lot of time together in school. And after school ended, even though, all of us moved to different places and pursued varied careers, we still stay in touch. I've realized over time that childh...

"Kritika" & I: A Long Time Ago An old flame (Lets call her Kritika!) recently felt insulted when I referred to her as "an underdog" in one of my articles. This surprised me. She missed the whole essence of my writing. When I call you an "underdog", you must take it as a compliment. Because I myself am an underdog. I have always been one. I wrote back to her, "Its the underdogs of the world who actually rule it." I totally stand by that philosophy.  Anyway, the whole incident kinda got me thinking. I've written about all the significant people who've shared part of my life with me, except Kritika. That's not fair, is it? So here it is. Long term relationships are like drugs. You get addicted to them. You get addicted to the comfort level that you share with that person. You get addicted to being desired. So when you break up with that person, it feels like withdrawal and you start craving for "the drug". Lon...

While so many schools of thought insist upon the limitless nature of man's aptitude, I have been recently questioning my own. Being in a corporate setting has been getting on my nerves lately. I have been having a hard time coping with the way businesses are conducted in our country. Services are promised but not delivered. Payments are promised but not made on time. Corporations overwork the front line employees while the top level managers just work with numbers and not necessarily in the interest of the organization. Legitimate arguments are not heard and unrealistic expectations are put forward. I have seriously started questioning myself whether I am cut out for this. I believe in doing things well. I believe in success that can be sustained and not just success that is just an Excel spreadsheet. I'm horrified at the idea of becoming the CEO or Director of a Company that's just working in numbers. Maybe I just don't have it in me. I read this articl...

Death has a strange finality about it. It's extra-ordinary. You die and you just cease to exist. You may leave behind a few people to mourn for you if you're lucky. But soon, even they will move on with their lives. You'll just stay behind as a fond memory and a bunch of old pictures. My father died on the 8th of March, 2000. Before his death, he was the only parent I had had for over seven years. But life moved on. I was 10 when my father breathed for the last time. But I couldn't shed a tear. There was just too much crying around me. Amidst all the mourning, I was trying to cope with the fact that my hero was dead. He had literally been the strongest person I knew, both physically and mentally. And he just succumbed to an illness and nobody could do anything about it. Fifteen years later, I don't know whether any of his friends still think about him. I am not even sure whether anyone really knew him during his lifetime. But I did. And today, I...

So, those of you who knew me between 2001 and 2007 must remember what I was like. I was very talkative, often ended up being the brunt of all jokes and frankly didn't give a shit about that. Well, happy days! And if you haven't actually interacted with me since then, you might have a hard time getting used to me now. I don't talk as much. Even though I often say this, it's not true that I ran out of things to say as I grew up. I just ran out of the energy to speak up about the things I had in mind. Now I don't know whether my peers can relate to this or not. Frankly many of my friends actually found their voices as they matured. I, on the other hand, lost mine. After a long hard week, it's Sunday again. So I guess it is time for some soul searching. At 7AM in the morning, here I am, awake and worrying about how I am gonna get through the week ahead. That's my life now. Anyway, where was I? So, I was telling you about how I lost my voice. ...