A Bowl of Elusive

For as long as I can remember, I have been depressed. I look happy and at times, I really am. But the happiness doesn't last long. I go back to my state of dismay. I have tried to understand it and failed. Something inside me keeps me sad. And it doesn't change. I just get distracted from it for short periods of time.  The distractions come in various shapes and forms. In the beginning, it was a person. And then it was a crisis. Now, its stories, one after another. I have to immerse myself in fiction to stop feeling sad. The first distraction was a girl. And eventually, my fights with her kept me distracted. One crisis after another, I remember. We kept getting into trouble.  Over time, nobody else could distract me like she did. So I had to resort to other substitutes. Problems. I realized that I forget my depression when am in trouble. But eventually, I grew over that as well. I was getting 'too old for that crap". Ha ha. So I started watching movies ...