A Bowl of Elusive

We don't give death that much of thought. While so many communities believe in the concept of an after-life, I have never bought into the premise. I think when a person dies, they stop to exist. Because the identity of a person is more than their body, it's who they are, their relationships with others and their interactions. Death brings an abrupt end to the whole thing. I know because I have lost three of my closest family members in the last two decades.  "On the 8th of March, 2000, I lost my father. He'd been suffering from kidney failure and after a seven month ordeal followed by eight days in a coma, he opened his eyes, looked at me, smiled and passed away. My memories of him were that of a hero. I had worshipped him all my life. There was nothing he couldn't do. He loved me more than anything. And I'll never forget him." That's how I summarize my father or his memory, when somebody asks. Somewhere down the line, his whole role in my l...

The day before yesterday, the office cafeteria served Balushahi during lunch. I was in between a heated debate with some colleagues when I bit into the Balushahi. As the flaky sweet crumbled between my teeth, I was suddenly transported to another time, another place. I suddenly had tears in my eyes and a strange pain in my heart. This little piece of sweet had managed to remind of him, my father. Back in 1997-98, I lived in Choudwar, a little industrial settlement near the city of Cutack, with my father and a tyrannous caretaker who abused me. While the years spent in Choudwar, which eventually led to my father's death, were traumatic as hell, they're peppered with some of the fondest memories I have of my father. He had been mostly unaware of the hardships I was being subjected to at the hands of the woman he'd hired to take care of me. But he sensed that she was strict in her approach and every other evening, he'd take a break from work and sneaked me out f...

Just the other night, I had this weird little dream. I was on a family vacation with my father. He looked young as he always used to and I was my present age. As it usually is with dreams, you tend to forget the details. So I am having hard time remembering where we were. All I remember is that there was water in the background and I was trying to make my father pose with me for a selfie. After several attempts I got it right. And I remember feeling in my dream that this selfie was really special, even though I couldn't figure out why. Frankly, I am not a big fan of selfies anymore. It wasn't until I woke up from the dream that I realized why that selfie was so special. My father has been dead for sixteen years and that picture could never exist. It was a strange feeling dreaming about him. I know this must sound like a very silly thing to write about.  But there was something about how I felt in the dream. A kind of serenity that I haven't felt in years. My...

Death has a strange finality about it. It's extra-ordinary. You die and you just cease to exist. You may leave behind a few people to mourn for you if you're lucky. But soon, even they will move on with their lives. You'll just stay behind as a fond memory and a bunch of old pictures. My father died on the 8th of March, 2000. Before his death, he was the only parent I had had for over seven years. But life moved on. I was 10 when my father breathed for the last time. But I couldn't shed a tear. There was just too much crying around me. Amidst all the mourning, I was trying to cope with the fact that my hero was dead. He had literally been the strongest person I knew, both physically and mentally. And he just succumbed to an illness and nobody could do anything about it. Fifteen years later, I don't know whether any of his friends still think about him. I am not even sure whether anyone really knew him during his lifetime. But I did. And today, I...

“TRUTH“…Such a sublime concept, isn't it? And yet, its never absolute. No, this is not a lesson in philosophy. I am talking about a very practical aspect here. Because, we aren't a species that is driven solely on instincts and reflexes. We take time to analyse “the truth”, “the reality” and then act on it, as we see fit. And hence, the need for “truth” gets elevated several folds. And truth here should be absolute. As a lot depends on it. Sometimes life and death and at other times, a person’s identity. Coz what we believe makes us who we are. Thats the truth I am speaking of. Have you wondered why things are never absolutely true? If you start thinking about it, you'll realise that this ambiguity in the concept of truth exists only in things that are human or related to humans. For example, look at the sun or the moon. One is a star and the other, a satellite. Both of them are celestial bodies. That is the truth, the absolute truth. As its universally ...