A Bowl of Elusive

Most people go about their lives with a certain clarity which I have noticed that mine doesn't have. I tend to find myself facing one problem after another, many of them resulting from my own actions in some way or the other. So I often find myself wondering if there's something wrong with my nature. A certain school of psychology dictates that a person's nature can be directly attributed to their childhood and upbringing. Personally, I think that's just blame-assignment. I mean, yeah, I had a difficult childhood, yeah, I faced abuse in various forms between the ages of 6 to 10, but can I blame that for the problems I am going through now? No, not directly at least. However, all those things did make me who I am today. And in a way, whatever new soup I find myself in today is due to the person I am. So I kinda went ahead and crossed my own point there. See what I did? Self-sabotage. Some of the biggest decisions of my life have been starkly contradictory to ...

I have been away for weeks. I just couldn't get myself to type a word. Have been battling with some inner demons. And the thing is, I don't think I am winning. I am stressed out all the time. Things around me just seem to be getting worse. There is just so many things in my life that seem to be spiraling out of control. Take my job for example. As usual, I am doing all I can to perform well, but nothing seems to make the bosses happy.  There's a restructuring going on in the company's operations in my territory and I am having a hard time dealing with the new people I am coming across. They might not be hostile but a few of them are strangely wily. They just keep speaking in riddles and ridicules. My girlfriend tells me that it is an issue with me, that I am letting them mess with my head. I just don't know how not to. I am a straight-forward guy. I don't understand taunts and back-handed comments. And most of all, I am bad at shutting people up. I j...