A Bowl of Elusive

And just like that, Neel found himself all alone. Somehow, the last few years were over and he was just left behind, a shell of the man he once was and out on his own. He knew he had to rebuild his life and he just couldn't begin to fathom where to start from. He had to do something about the house as he couldn't, for the life of him, manage to clean and maintain such a huge place. So he decided to move in with some friends. The move was smooth and by the end of October, Neel was settled in at his room in the new apartment. He had set up all the essentials to keep him content and that was the beginning of his second life. Now for the loneliness, Neel had a few ideas. He signed himself up for online dating, hollered at a few old flames and explored the vast playing ground called the internet. He came up mostly empty, of course. Turns out, you need the green if you want the scene. And Neel wasn't rich. So soon, Neel was off the dating sites, cut off from most of the ol...

I am not the man of your dreams. I am not the man of any girl's dream for that matter. I was just browsing my FB wall and I came across the picture of a cousin with her husband, where she is singing and her hubby is playing the guitar and I thought to myself, "These guys are such a well-suited match." And that reminded me of the several times my girlfriend wanted to do something that I wasn't really into. Like visit a local monument or go furniture shopping. Hence, the realization. I am a rather boring person who isn't interested in a lot of things. I spend a crazy amount of time being stressed out about my job. Very few things actually make me happy and lately, I have been becoming more anti-social than ever. My pessimism has helped me cultivate a somewhat practical approach that's required for my job but other than that, it has affected all other aspects of my life negatively. I have traced the source of all my cynicism back to my college days. T...

For as long as I can remember, I have been depressed. I look happy and at times, I really am. But the happiness doesn't last long. I go back to my state of dismay. I have tried to understand it and failed. Something inside me keeps me sad. And it doesn't change. I just get distracted from it for short periods of time.  The distractions come in various shapes and forms. In the beginning, it was a person. And then it was a crisis. Now, its stories, one after another. I have to immerse myself in fiction to stop feeling sad. The first distraction was a girl. And eventually, my fights with her kept me distracted. One crisis after another, I remember. We kept getting into trouble.  Over time, nobody else could distract me like she did. So I had to resort to other substitutes. Problems. I realized that I forget my depression when am in trouble. But eventually, I grew over that as well. I was getting 'too old for that crap". Ha ha. So I started watching movies ...