A Bowl of Elusive

In one of Shah Rukh Khan's older interviews, he said, "I am Allah's chosen one." Was that arrogance? Or was it just confidence? He did go on to become a star. I am not sure how important a role the fact that he considered himself special played in his stardom, but I'd like to believe that it was one of the factors. When I was five years old, I was admitted to a nursery near our place. I was named Abhishek initially. During the roll call, I realized that I was the eighth Abhishek in my class. The obscurity didn't sit well with me. So, I threw a hissy fit when I got home and forced my father to get my name changed to Ian (which was my nickname) on the school register. Ever since, that was something I felt special about, my name, which isn't very common in India. I also felt special about my height because all through school, I was the tallest kid in class. Even with the various hardships that I faced in my young life, I never stopped believing that I

Measuring the degree of how much I want something has always been a challenge for me. I do understand the difference between yearning and obsession but I'm afraid my definitions may vary a little from the societal norms. You see I tend to be a little intense with my feelings. It usually plays out well for me because there's not a lot I want in life. But sometimes it becomes painful, especially when I have no control over the causality of things. That happens when its SOMEONE I'm yearning for. Because the way of the heart can be treacherous and all consuming. If I like you, I like you. There's not much in my control after that. I don't just get infatuated easily, only to be disillusioned later. I often know what I want and when I come across it, I'd pursue it through heavens and hell, through good and bad, through suffering and joy, because it's worth all that. But there's another side to it. An ugly one. I have never had things easy. And