The "Chase" - A Wacky Conspiracy Theory

For all of you, who came here expecting a suspense thriller, sorry to disappoint. This blog is about courtship and the intricacies one faces when courting a lady. Now it is an established fact that the beginning stages of any romantic relationship, the part where a man tries to woo a woman, are the most exciting ones of all. A man 'chasing' a woman is extremely driven and highly motivated. Now, irrespective of whether his intentions are good or shady, the 'chase' is usually fun for both the people involved. This is the stage of the mushy messages and googly eyes, this is when the guy defies reason just to get a glimpse of her. It is a wonderful time.

But once the 'chase' is over, the real test of a relationship begins. While some crash and burn, others go on to become legends. But let's talk about the chase a little more. Why is the chase so fulfilling? The answer lies in the human brain. You see, hope is a big motivator for man and it has been so since the ages. People crossed continents in hope of finding better pastures, kings went to war in hope of spreading their reign and men bend over backwards in hope of winning their lover's heart. Scientists may argue that it can be attributed to the chemical reactions that a new found attraction invokes in a person's head, but I think it's just that men need something to look up to, a dream to chase.

A dream is what it really is. The dream of winning her heart, the dream of being able to call her your own, the dream of holding her close. Dreams that can make you go crazy with desire. But the chase isn't a very long phase, if you're lucky. Because if the chase isn't fruitful, it can hurt as hell. But if you pursue the object of your desires with a clean heart and sincerity, the chase will soon give way to a lifetime of knowing each other, a lifetime of bliss. But I have known people who seek the chase more than they seek a relationship, which I can understand to some extent. Because it is like a high, a love-induced high. But it is dangerous to chase that high, because chances are that the real thing, the relationship that follows, may fail to intrigue such people because it is more content.

And then, I have this theory about some people. I believe that some people have cracked the code of how to use their partner's intrigue with the chase to their own advantage. These are the hackers of the relationship world. They have figured out why their significant others enjoy the chase so much, and they have formulated a way to keep the chase alive, even when it is actually over. The trick is simple. Denial.

A simple 'No' can elongate the chase and make it way more appealing. Because there's no greater rush than changing a 'no' to a 'yes'. And people usually choose to chase that rush. But an outright 'no' can be demotivating, so it has to be played with tact. "No" with a pinch of hope is the ideal solution.  Don't agree to be with them, but make them feel special about themselves, so that they can't imagine not being with you. That way, the chase can keep on going. See, here the chase has already become a part of the relationship. If executed with perfection, such an inclusion can be a breath of fresh air for any relationship.

And understandably, such relationships develop a varied equation than others. I am not wise enough to know whether playing the 'no' game is beneficial for a relationship or not, but it does generate enough anxiety and angst to keep things volatile and interesting. Like a game. And what is love, but a game? A game we're all playing and trying to win. If you're lucky, you both win and if not, you both lose. Anyway, I had always suspected this conspiracy to be afoot, but I could be wrong. Maybe people do this instinctively instead of deliberately. I am neither that wise nor that insightful that I'd know for sure.


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