A Bowl of Elusive

Jab bhi tujhe dekhoon, ankhon mein fariyaad si rehti hai, Hazaron khwahishen hoti hai, aur ek muraad si rehti hai, Tujhe maangoon ya tujhme kho jaaoon yahi sochta rehta hoon, Kyun na jane dhadakte dil ko teri firaaq si rehti hai. Teri berukhi ke charche bhi kar chuka aur misaal bhi de di, Shabdon mein likha dil ki majboori ko, aur labon se guhaar bhi de di, Bas tu kahin kisi ke dhyaan mein baitha hai aise, ki meri dua tujh tak pahunchti hi nahi, Dekh na kaise dil aaj zakhmi hai mera, aur uski pukaar tujh tak pahunchti hi nahi. Ab ummeedon ke jharokhon se jhaankte hai mere armaan kaee, Tere khwaabon ke idgaah mein goonjte hain mere azaan kaee, Aks-e-aarzoo ko tu parakh le ik baar, shayad samajh aayega tujhe, Kitne sooni, kitni banjar reh jaye tere bina ye dil, ki inme koi shaqs na reh paye kabhi. Main har roz teri aane ke intezaar mein raahein taakta hoon, Hawa se teri khabar poochta hoon, fiza se teri khairiyat maangta hoon, Musaafir tu bhi malaal k

My dear readers, I managed to write yet another one of these. This is the sixth chapter of the Siddhant-Ishika story, and I think you’re fed up with it by now. Still, the story continues. Here are the links to the earlier episodes: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 . I would suggest that you go back, read the earlier chapter, if you haven’t already done it and then come back to find out what happened next. Ishika and Siddhant had reached an impasse. Like any great story, theirs had a big conflict in the plot and yet, they weren’t fighting about it. They were calm. A certain routine had set in between them. They kept in touch, neither of them going back on their stance. Ishika, still pining for the man she couldn’t have and Siddhant pining for Ishika, it was like a neatly tied bow tie where Ishika and Siddhant were two ends of the leaf.  More than a month had passed since they first met and Ishika had gone back to her hometown for a week, during which she couldn’

My dear readers, this is the fifth chapter of the Siddhant-Ishika story. Here are the links to the earlier episodes: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 . I would suggest that you go back, read the earlier chapter, if you haven’t already done it and then come back to find out what happened next. Siddhant, like a secure modern man (that he was pretending to be), gave Ishika her space. But inside his heart, not hearing from her was wreaking havoc. Whatever happened between them that night, was haunting Siddhant and Ishika had just withdrawn herself. He was thinking about the promise she had made to him, that she’d never leave. “What happened to that?” he asked himself? And soon, his rampant low self-esteem kicked in. “Have I managed to drive another person away from my life?” he asked himself, with a sense of dread creeping in the back of his mind. That’s when he received a text from Ishika in reply to the one he’d sent. It read, “I just have been busy. I am not going anywhe

Here’s the fourth part of the Siddhant-Ishika story. Here are the links to the earlier chapters: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 . Go read those and then come back to find out what happened next. At five in the morning, Ishika left Siddhant’s apartment, wearing a red kurta and white leggings. Siddhant paced after her. He wanted to see her off to her cab, but she stopped him by the elevator. She put a hand on his chest and pushed him back. Then the elevator door closed and she was gone. He went to the balcony and just got a glimpse of her walking towards the car downstairs. When she left, the exhaustion and the hopelessness of the previous night hit him hard and he collapsed on his bed. But he couldn’t sleep. Because he’d made a deal with the Devil. And the Devil had collected his dues right away. As he lay on the bed, sleepless and disoriented, Siddhant looked back at the events of the previous night. He couldn’t help thinking about those glorious moments that made up that night,

Dil toota aur ek aah tak na nikal paayi, Teri baaton mein aaj meri koi na zikr aayi, Tere baahon mein ek jo raat guzri nazuk si, Aisi raat thi ki phir subah savere hijr aayi. Main roya kabhi, bina ek aansu bahaye, Tu saath raha jaise bin saath nibhaye, Teri berukhi mein bhi khushi ke mauke mile aise, Ki meri mohhabbat teri rooh ko fateh kar jaaye. Kab tak khud se yeh naraazgi paal sakoge? Kab tak meri har baat isi tarah taal sakoge? Main to aashiq hoon, zehan pe ghar kar jaunga, Khud se door shaayad kar bhi lo, par dil se kaise nikaal sakoge? Dil ki baat aaj aur tumhe batayenge nahi, Tumhe iss tarah se phir satayenge nahi, Ek baar khud bhi apne dil se pooch lena tum, Chale gaye kahin hum to yaad ayenge ki nahi? Aisi bhi kya dushmani hai tumhari khushi se? Bheegi raaton ka koi sawaal ho jaise tishnagi se. Main samandar bhi aur kashti bhi ban jaunga, Tum aazma ke zara dekh lena, thodi si dillagi se. Ab na peeche hat paunga, aur na ru

For all of you, who came here expecting a suspense thriller, sorry to disappoint. This blog is about courtship and the intricacies one faces when courting a lady. Now it is an established fact that the beginning stages of any romantic relationship, the part where a man tries to woo a woman, are the most exciting ones of all. A man 'chasing' a woman is extremely driven and highly motivated. Now, irrespective of whether his intentions are good or shady, the 'chase' is usually fun for both the people involved. This is the stage of the mushy messages and googly eyes, this is when the guy defies reason just to get a glimpse of her. It is a wonderful time. But once the 'chase' is over, the real test of a relationship begins. While some crash and burn, others go on to become legends. But let's talk about the chase a little more. Why is the chase so fulfilling? The answer lies in the human brain. You see, hope is a big motivator for man and it has been so since

This is the third installment of Siddhant & Ishika's story. Click on these links to read the previous parts: Part 2 & Part 1 . Just to summarize, boy meets girl, likes her but his feelings aren't reciprocated. Still, they grow closer and share a strange intimacy they develop over the course of days. If you're done reading the earlier parts, let me tell you what happened next. So Siddhant's plan was pretty simple. Be consistent, be insistent and be crazily persistent, and just hope that his feelings would seep into Ishika's heart. There was just one problem with that plan. It didn't factor in Ishika's decision never to fall in love again. There's a background story to Ishika's drastic decision but she's pretty tight lipped about it, so let's respect her privacy and move on to where Siddhant's at. He was being an absolute darling to Ishika, but his charms fell flat against her unwavering resolve not to fall in love.

In my last post ( link here ), I introduced you to Siddhant & Ishika. Let me tell you what happened next. So Ishika and Siddhant lived in two opposite ends of the city. Thanks to the traffic and road conditions, reaching her would usually take Siddhant nearly two hours. So, this may qualify as a long distance relationship. Sorry, a long distance friendship. Because Ishika had friend-zoned Siddhant on day one. But Siddhant just couldn’t see her as ‘just a friend’. Their meeting had started something of a chain reaction in his mind, and it was taking a life of its own. They started face-timing from the very day they met, rather regularly. Every evening, she’d call and Siddhant would have to tidy up a little before receiving her call. And they’d look at each other for hours, talking, listening to music together and just smiling at each other. You see, over the past several months, Siddhant had faced numerous bad dates. Dates who weren’t serious, dates who were rude and dates wh

We don't give death that much of thought. While so many communities believe in the concept of an after-life, I have never bought into the premise. I think when a person dies, they stop to exist. Because the identity of a person is more than their body, it's who they are, their relationships with others and their interactions. Death brings an abrupt end to the whole thing. I know because I have lost three of my closest family members in the last two decades.  "On the 8th of March, 2000, I lost my father. He'd been suffering from kidney failure and after a seven month ordeal followed by eight days in a coma, he opened his eyes, looked at me, smiled and passed away. My memories of him were that of a hero. I had worshipped him all my life. There was nothing he couldn't do. He loved me more than anything. And I'll never forget him." That's how I summarize my father or his memory, when somebody asks. Somewhere down the line, his whole role in my l

"A feeling which soon became a verse, a flood and a storm. Do read this poem with a lovelorn heart and celebrate new-found love." Ab jiye thoda aur, ke phir mar jaye hum? Tere labon pe hasi dekh thoda bikhar jaye hum. Tere aankhon mein shararat ka tinka sa jo hai, Usi tinke ke chaaro or aaj simat jaye hum. Tujhse koi rishta ho na ho, koi lagav sa lagta hai, Marham tadapte dil pe, aaj ghaav sa lagta hai, Tu dekh le aaj aankhon se, aur dil shadaab kar de. Haathon mein tera haath ho to sach bhi zara khwaab sa lagta hai. Teri ek jhalak paane ko dil ab bekaraar sa rehta hai, Lafzon mein mere na chahte hue bhi kuch ikraar sa rehta hai, Gaye dinon mein haar aur thokar ka aadi tha jo dil, Aaj tere siyasat mein wahan kuch pyaar sa rehta hai. Tera saath na mile to bhi aaj shayad ghum na karun, Bichad jayein aaj hum to bhi yeh aankhein nam na karun, Ye dil ajeeb hai, awaraa aaj tere haj pe nikla hai, Raah pe agar aaj zakhm mile, to bhi ye ibadat

Love stories through the years have led you to believe that all connections are instant and sudden. That people just fall in love at first sight, and live happily ever after. If you're older than twenty years of age, chances are that you're already disillusioned with that notion. You know better than to believe that fairy tales exist. You have lived the "real life" where meeting new people is a tedious task, putting yourself out there feels like a real burden and liking someone, genuinely liking someone doesn't come easily.  So when Ishika and Siddhant met for the first time, neither of them was naive or inexperienced enough to believe in 'love at first sight' or anything remotely similar to it. They had both had their own share of relationships and heartbreaks and were just exploring something new. Ishika in fact had no intention for it to be anything more than an evening out with a new guy. Siddhant was cautiously optimistic. Blind dates hadn'

You know how some people have such profound effect on your life that you associate certain things with them forever? Yeah, that was the case with this girl and Vasant Kunj. I’d forever associate Vasant Kunj with her. She calls herself Archie, her parents call her Achu, she’s Archana on the dotted line, but for me, she’ll forever be “the Gold-digger of Vasant Kunj”. See how I copied Vladimir Nabokov’s prose style? Yeah, this one deserves Lolita-level luscious language. (Also killing it with the alliteration. Ha ha.) Before I dive into the story, let me introduce myself. I stand at about five feet nine, have a very sharp nose and a lean body. I grew up in an orthodox Jaat family till about the age of twelve after which my father moved to Delhi and got me admitted into a convent school. Halleluiah for that! So understandably, I am a confused soul, sophisticated in some aspects and earthy in others. I usually speak in a faux British accent, slipping into Haryanvi when using Hindi wo

I have always looked at human relationships from the perspective of an outsider. You can attribute this to the fact that my upbringing was less usual than others. If you read my blog, you know about my childhood, the fact that I was orphaned at an early age and was brought up by my father's parents. All relationships have been difficult for me to understand. I have written in length about my chemistry with my family and my old flames. But another relationship I haven't written much about is friendship. I usually had a tough time making friends. It was just one of those things that allude you. There wasn't anything I was doing wrong, there was just a lack of  the basic connection.  I did make some friends along the way, but when I look back at those friendships today, I can't help but feeling they weren't normal. You know, take for example, Buddhadev, one of my very first friends in the second standard. He and I were both a little nerdy back then and maybe tha